The Closest of Friends

Honesty

I do think technology has made cultivating relationships easier. So, now it’s possibly to do with quantity and not about quality. The result is that friendships over the last 15 years or so have become shallower?

I used to think that the years from around five years old to my mid twenties were the Bond for Lifegolden era of friendship in my lifetime. Meaning, I thought during those years I made my best friends.

My question to myself was – can the golden era of developing friendships be at all possible later on in life?

True friends are such an integral part of my life, by filling it with sunshine, warmth, positivity and unconditional love. So of course I would say that they are an essential part of my existence and happiness.

Friends see us through difficult relationships, marriages, problems at work, and major Inseparablechanges in life, and so on. They do more than just get us by. My dear friends allow me to enjoy live, are loyal, and support me regardless of what happens and the mistakes I make. In fact, research has shown that friends actually help us live longer and that there are certain habits that genuine friends possess, which make them more like family. They have particular characteristics, including the ability to dish out tough love that creates that glue that bonds us.

These characteristics set real friends apart from the other relationships in our lives. So to answer the question I posed to myself in the third paragraph – a definite resounding The GangYES! I have made friends over the last 10 years that I consider family who are in the same circle as those friends I made earlier in my life. All the new genuine friends I have made make me feel like I have known them my whole life too. When I look at the group of my closest friends, new and old, and study each of their qualities and attributes, there is definitely a common thread. Here is what I have found:

Best Friends show us the truth as to who we actually are:
We can, I know I can, be a negative sometimes, going through periods of intense self-criticism; whether it’s feeling inadequate in a particular situation, or just not liking what Vito a friend for lifewe see in the mirror. My closest friends are the ones who tell me the truth and bolster me when my self-opinion starts getting low. They strengthen my self-esteem and definitely make me feel better about myself.

They make our friendship a priority:
We are all so busy. Sometimes, it feels that there is no room in the day to take on much else. However, it seems that my real friends don’t let life interrupt the relationship. They always have time for me. Genuine friends make each other a priority.

They point out when I am wrong about something:
I have many flaws, one of them is that I am sometimes adamant about being right about something when in fact I couldn’t be more wrong. My real friends identify and point these situations out for me, in an honest and mindful manner and keep me accountable. They support me on both sides, when I am wrong and when I am right. Being totally honest separates a true friend from the rest. Friends who are open and straightforward are the most important ones to have. This unbridled honesty it what sets my genuine friendships apart.

They are tuned into me:Late in the game but here to stay!
A true friend always gives you his/her full attention and awareness. I have found that a real friend stays present in the moment by paying attention to my needs, as I do to theirs. It needs to be a mutual thing and cannot be one sided.

True friends listen:
I have found that people who are not as invested in my life, as a true friend is, tend to turn a conversation back to him or herself, when I need them to listen to me because I have something to resolve. When I want to discuss a problem or issue real friends never make the conversation about them. Interesting to note that many times in my life I have found that becoming tight friends with someone resulted directly from the ability of having an open, two-way dialogue with this person.

SK and JW Cheers to life!They keep me grounded:
Genuine friends celebrate my every accomplishment, but at the same time they keep my feet on the ground. They are able provide me with checks & balances to maintain the best version of me. They do this by being totally honest with me, while supporting me when I succeed, at the same time reminding who I am at my core.

Always have my back:
My dearest and closest friends always make me feel supported, telling me the truth regardless of how painful the truth might be. Being honest all the time, is not always the easiest thing but it is what creates a strong bond between people.

Real friends forgive each other:
When it comes to relationships I am sometimes not the easiest person, making judgment Mr Honesty JDerrors from time to time. It is at these times that genuine friends know how take this and don’t take things so personally. When conflicts come up, real friends have the courage to reach out directly to each other versus going around angrily gossiping and letting the negative situation grow. My real friends understand my flaws, and because they understand them they are capable of forgiving me. This allows us to move on very quickly and prevents the use of excess emotional energy.

Support through adversity:
My genuine friends are there through EVERYTHING, the ups and down. I can’t stand it when people want to become close, during a period of success. Getting support from A day of Suffering togethersomeone during the toughest of times instantly elevates this special person in my book…they become family, become part of my inner cycle. A true friend has the power to reduce the stress in my life

Best friends force me to become a better person:
My best friends are people I trust, who I can discuss problems and personal matters with, get drunk with. They are confidants, but more importantly they are role models. Through example, kindness and other attributes, genuine friends bring out the best in me, which is one of the greatest gifts they could ever give me.

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare

 “A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.” – Irish Proverb

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~ by Jens Wallrabe on September 3, 2017.

3 Responses to “The Closest of Friends”

  1. That’s such a great blog post Jens. I feel very lucky and fortunate to have met you more than a decade ago. Your friendship has certainly helped me get through a few tough periods in my life.
    I do have a tendency to be so ‘busy’ with life that I, at times, lose contact for a while with dear friends. Your post has surely reminded me that I need to make a better effort to not lose that connection with my both old and new friends- and to reach out to the ones I haven’t spoken to in a while.
    Thanks Jens! Hope to see you soon my friend!

    • Really happy you like the post Rob! You too have helped me through some difficult times. You have always been there for me. You are definitely in my closest of friends circle and have the attributes described!

  2. This is just about the greatest article on friendships I’ve ever read, love it & share it & reference it probably forever.

    And that photo of you and Karen, it’s just perfect relationship joy…so happy you posted this today, it’s exactly what I needed to remind me what friendship is, (I need to make sure what isn’t up to this standard gets less attention) xo

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