Building Momentum Living Life!

Hello my friends! It has been a while since I have posted anything. I am beginning to feel the itch to write again and, from the Building Momentum Living Life blog perspective, to reflect on my life’s progression, events, challenges, triumphs, my thoughts on life, where I am now and where I am going.

On a quick side note; I turned 59 this year. My goal, from a physical perspective, is to become as fit as possible before I turn 60 next year on August 23. Although I am fairly fit, probably still in the top percentile for my age group (anyway, that’s my story and I am sticking to it!), my fitness has been hard to maintain over the last couple of years due to a number of reasons, which will be covered in subsequent posts…

Since my last post, in 2017, four years ago, so many things have happened in my life. Some not so good and others that have been amazing!

2019 was crazy, containing major events that changed the complexion and direction of my life. I found myself single again after a number of years of marriage. From a place of sadness and wondering what my future would hold, 2020 turned into one of the best years of my life on the personal front. I guess things happen for a reason!

In 2020, On February 21^st, I met an incredible person who has ended up bringing so much sunshine, beauty, and positivity in my life. I am the happiest I have ever been, within any relationship! Every day with her feels special and beautiful. I am a lucky and blessed man. I will cover this part of my life more in future posts, because it’s important and a testament that it is never too late to find true love.

Going through a separation, dealing with the logistics and details of a divorce is a crazy emotional rollercoaster that created a very stressful 2019. For most of the year I felt a little lost, sad, and unsure about the future. What kept me sane during this period was training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ), two to three times a week. I think BJJ helped me remain focused enough to allow me to move forward despite all the stress and trauma. The structure, concentration, and discipline required to get through a session allowed me to free my mind during class time, giving me a break from the hamster wheel of thoughts that were playing on repeat, racing through my mind, during the times when I was not doing BJJ.

On September 6, 2019, I attended a BJJ seminar led by Professor Carlos Machado, hosted by my incredible Professor, Marcos Santos. After the seminar there was a Promotion Ceremony. I was just standing there in line clapping as peoples’ names were being called to receive their promotion, thinking I would not be getting promoted during this Promotion Cycle.  I felt that during the preceding time period I had not shined enough as a BJJ practitioner and didn’t deserve a promotion.

But, after a short wait my name was called! I got promoted to Blue belt. I cannot not tell you how my spirits were lifted, considering this horrible time period I was living through! The feeling I got was so euphoric, it made me so happy (to be honest I was so happy I cried…on the inside!). I will never forget that feeling and the sense of accomplishment. It also reinforced why one should never give up. If you make an effort, regardless of the challenges you are facing, people will notice and you will get rewarded in some way or another!

After I got promoted I did some thinking around BJJ, and came up with some observations as to why BJJ is such a beautiful sport;

To my mind, even though it is a supportive environment, surround by like-minded people, you really travel the BJJ journey alone. Ultimately showing up is up to you, it is up to you to stay healthy and fit, it’s on you to be committed, persistent and motivated. If you stay consistently on this road, and stay dedicated it will take an average of 10 years to become a Black Belt, as long as you don’t take prolonged breaks along the way.

Studying Jiu Jitsu has been an eye opener

To become proficient and learn at an accelerated pace, one has to go to class 2 to 3 times a week. This can become way too much for some students and can cause them to drop out. Many adults quit during the white belt stage (1-2 years) for various reasons, including finding the time to train adequately and/or determining that the sport is not really for them. The reasons for quitting are many.

For many people attaining a blue belt is a major milestone. There is a high attrition rate, amongst students, soon after becoming a blue belt. Here again there are many reasons for this, including the frustration of feeling stuck and not progressing as quickly due to techniques becoming more complex. Injuries are a big factor too. If a student becomes injured multiple times it can be very off putting. Injury is a situation quite common with older students, as one can imagine. Another issue is schedules. When an adult student’s schedule is full, trying to squeeze another activity into it can become too much over time. However, having said all this, it is also interesting to note that the higher the belt the dropout rate decreases.

The Powers of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

On the positive side, the magical power of BJJ is that it brings so many different types of people together, from various back grounds including different ethnic groups, religions, jobs, education, class, different sexes and ages. In many cases you meet people you would not generally meet outside of class.

There is something unifying when it comes to the clear hierarchal structure found in a BJJ class. It brings various people together and in many cases over time they become ultimately very close, almost like an extended family. The relationship is forged by learning together, fighting and confrontation. How is that possible? How does this environment allow for so much unity? I have found, as is the case in many sports, misery loves company. When people physically suffer together, go through the same relatable challenges, it brings them together forming a real sense of cohesion. Again, very different from the outside world

While moving around the outside world many people are told they are different, or they don’t belong, or they are not welcome, etc. We are not really encouraged to reach out to strangers. What I love about BJJ is that regardless of how different people are, everyone is acknowledged and recognized. EVERYONE is welcomed into the BJJ family. As with any activity there are exceptions to the rules, but those exceptions (clubs) end up closing since people will move to the positive environments that BJJ is famous for.

We all come to class for different reasons (fitness, weight loss, learning self defense, competition, etc.), but we are all the same when we walk through the doors, change into our gi, and get onto the mat. Regardless of your personal reason for participating and your position in society – we all become the same. The positive commonalities are tied to fairness, respect, and duty.

So far my BJJ journey has been such a deep experience since I have found it is a journey into me. This journey forces me to accept humility, my weaknesses and fallibilities. Once you have totally opened yourself to accept this, you will go through a stage where your confidence and mental strength will begin to build up again, renewing itself, building you into something better than the original you.

BJJ has taught me not to be fixated by concrete results as an end-or-be-all, and the importance of not comparing myself against other people. It allows me to recognize what I am becoming, what I have achieved, reinforcing the question “am I a better version of myself compared to me a week ago, a month ago, or year ago.” It teaches me that it doesn’t really matter whether I receive extrinsic validation. What matters is that I understanding the journey I am taking, and who I am as a person, the person I am becoming, all while leaving the ego at the door

I have achieved so much in my life in general, in sports, and in business, but I have to say that getting my blue belt was one of my proudest moments. This has been a good time to reflect how far I have come and how much I still can achieve and accomplish regardless of my age.

“There is no finer sensations in life that which comes with victory over one’s self. Go forward to a goal of inward achievement, brushing aside all your old internal enemies as you advance.” – Vash Young

~ by Jens Wallrabe on October 13, 2021.

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